That Voodoo That You Do
An admittedly crazy friend of mine recently played a horrid practical joke on me. I won’t go into details beyond saying that it involved the mutual imbibing of alcohol, the taking advantage of my brief absence due to a trip to the bathroom, and the sending of a text message from MY unattended cellphone to somebody I barely know. Which went over about as well as a fart during a pelvic exam. Truthfully, I cannot complain too vehemently because I have played a mean prank or two in my time. However, my friend realised that the joke had made me look like PsychoBitch From Planet Insanity. Clearly, reparations were in order.
Ladies, hoars, and what-passes-for-gentlemen, I present to you the Best Apology Gift of All Time:
♥
♥
♥
♥
Too bad I will never be able to invite
another man over to my place.
[The knives are very high-quality, by the way,
and work extremely well in the kitchen
. . . and probably elsewhere . . . not that I would know.]
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May 2nd, 2007 at 12:57 pm
That’s classic! Where did he get that? Does it come in alternate gender models?
May 2nd, 2007 at 1:00 pm
hahahaha… that is so awesome!
May 2nd, 2007 at 1:00 pm
Oh mannnnnn !!!!!!!!!! I want one of those !!! Where can I buy one?? and if I can’t buy it………….I will corner the market on the manufacturing , marketing, and distributing something like it !!! I know women all over the world who will want one !!! Who wants to go into business with me ?????????
May 2nd, 2007 at 1:10 pm
Jim: the figurine is not anatomically-correct, so I think you could treat it as either gender.
Everyone else: I just KNEW everybody would love this, so I beat my friend into submission and demanded to know the source. This item was actually featured in the semi-horror film “Sublime [Raw Feed]” which I happened to see recently {even though I *rarely* watch horror films because I am a big scaredy-kat, but this was along the lines of Tales From The Crypt, of which I am a big fan}, so, of course, I had been raving about the knife set {excellent knives, by the way, cut right through the bone
}. I have since seen it called both the “Voodoo Knife Stand” and “The EX …”. My insane friend found it on Amazon.com, and, no, I did not instantly “test” it by thrusting in a knife and making screeching Psycho-shower-scene sounds:
I will now officially guarantee sex to the first person who ships this next item to me {note: I did not say sex with me . . . or that I would pay for it}:
May 2nd, 2007 at 1:17 pm
“made me look like PsychoBitch From Planet Insanity.”
You’re not? Oh…my bad.
May 2nd, 2007 at 4:20 pm
HAHAHA! That’s great! Too bad they can’t make one that makes unattentive parents control their children. Wow, we’re from the same planet! Who knew?!
May 2nd, 2007 at 8:34 pm
I was totally ready to place the order until I read your disclaimer…
May 3rd, 2007 at 10:23 am
She got you a cutting board? that’s so nice. Now that’s what I call a good friend!
May 6th, 2007 at 9:59 pm
THAT is AMAZING.