Semen Ticks
Blog, n., abbrev. weblog
1. the art of written masturbation
2. composed stimulation via hands and keyboard
3. the literary equivalent of mental ejaculation
4. to impress the legend of one’s own mind
5. vanity writing
dear DiaryLand,
We can’t help but notice that your website goes down more often than a stripper on a meat popsicle. Perhaps you need to attract a better class of blogger? We’d like to help you out here by offering to loan you one of ours: DanjerusKurves. Oh, sure she’s fixated on sex, but, underneath her acerbic wit, she’s actually a sweet person. While she no doubt puts the “fun” in “dysfunctional”, the “nut” in “nutcase”, the “nympho” in “maniac” … well, you get the idea. We’d hate to lose her … really … but, frankly, if you don’t take her for long enough to give us a break, we’re going to have to keep crashing your server.
love always,
the Happy Hackers at LiveJournal
Current Mood: 
sweet and innocent
August 8th, 2005 at 4:31 pm
(Comments copied over from LiveJournal):
IrishTx
2005-03-20 20:57
you have a beautiful mind. I love the blogs. And such a lucky mind to be encased in equally attractive packaging!
Cheers!
surlycanadian
2005-03-21 16:14
I know NOTHING of masturbation of any kind….
danjeruskurves
2005-03-21 22:40
So then what you were doing on webcam that time was really anti-carpal-tunnel exercise?
I once had to explain the art of self-pleasure to a Japanese girl. She rewarded me with a little marble plaque that says “Sex Instructor” and wrote a note on the back. I still have it.
Xquzme
2005-03-22 13:50
Hey! I finally found you! Wow — I finally got a link to your journal. I’ll have to give this a good look-see. This looks like a fun blog site! I’ll be baaaaaaaack!
danjeruskurves
2005-03-22 14:06
Dahling!!!! how lovely to see you! Welcome and I hope you enjoy my stories as much as I enjoy yours!
Wombat
2005-03-24 22:34
I knew it was you! When D-land first went down I said to myself,”Wombat, who on earth would be torturing poor Andrew so?” Of course, your name sprang to mind immediately.
danjeruskurves
2005-03-24 22:38
Dahling, if it involves “going down”, chances are it’s somehow related to me.
lawless1
2005-03-26 21:53
AHA! So you’re to blame, eh? Well, can you and your talented self help poor Andrew get it up?
Diaryland, that is…*snicker*
danjeruskurves
2005-03-26 22:30
I think it would take the cyber equivalent of an overdose of Viagra AND a penile implant to get him up any sooner!