Vending My Anger
You lured me in with your implications of instant gratification . . . your shininess . . . your essence of true sweetness. You caught me at a weak moment and selfishly took advantage of me. The courting phase turned out to be short-lived . . . how quickly you betrayed me. One moment you were welcoming me, encouraging me, leading me on. Then suddenly, without warning, you turned on me, casting a cold, impersonal, glassy glare. In one swift move you reduced me to a mumbling wreck. I am ashamed to admit that I gave you money . . . which you took and yet gave me nothing in return!! I was forced to turn to a tall, dark stranger for help!!! Thank goodness for the kindness of my rescuer . . . his generousity in replacing the money you greedily grabbed out of my hand . . . his strength and courage in shaking some sense into you!
It is just not fair when my snacks get stuck in that horrid vending machine!!!
September 12th, 2007 at 11:40 am
(smiling) Buying a snack in between meals..$1.00
The time it takes away from work to figure which sweet tooth fix it will be today….$? But to see someone go postal on a vending machine is priceless… BTW the vending machine at mymechanic avg. cost $0.00
September 12th, 2007 at 9:33 pm
Vending machines are a cruel mistress. Always better to keep some snacks in your drawer.
September 13th, 2007 at 8:23 am
Vending machines and slot machines are controlled by the same people. The question is….do you feel lucky?
September 13th, 2007 at 8:58 am
Why, Fabby, I always have something sweet and edible in my drawers!
September 24th, 2007 at 1:32 pm
I just had to share the following comment that I received by email. It is from a 26-year old {gorgeous} male attorney with whom I work and it made me get all maternal when I read it …
“OK, I’m not normally artistic or creative, but this email inspired me (perhaps out of commiseration with the author’s plight). It’s a silly poem because my animal crackers always get stuck in the vending machine:
Pachyderms perch precariously,
Alluring lions lean,
Hippos hang haphazardly,
…inches away from impending doom.
A quarter-twist of fate and the hunt is abandoned,
Only fingerprints remain.”