Let’s have a little fun at somebody else’s expense today! Here are some of the winning pick-up lines that were tried-out on me in the past month. I shall leave it up to each of you to decide which answer I actually gave, which response I felt like giving, and which answer you would have given in my place:

How do you feel about a 22-year old?

a. Age is a number, not a person.
b. A jerk is a jerk, regardless of age.
c. Why don’t you just ask me outright if I will fuck you?

What are you doing here?

a. Right now I am just standing by the dance floor enjoying an adult beverage.
b. I thought I’d hang out with the stupid and ugly people tonight.
c. Why don’t you just ask me outright if I will fuck you?

Do you like younger men?

a. I think that would really depend on his personality.
b. Yes, and I also like puppies and kittens . . . but more so after they are neutered and house-trained.
c. Why don’t you just ask me outright if I will fuck you?

Are they real?

a. No they are imaginary.
b. They are real-ly none of your bloody business.
c. Why don’t you just ask me outright if I will fuck you?

I’m drunk, can you drive me home?

a. No, call a taxi.
b. Yes, for $500, not including sex.
c. Why don’t you just ask me outright if I will fuck you?

Hey, we used to be neighbours! I moved you know? You want to hang out after-hours?

a. How could I forget a gorgeous, muscular, young, handsome, latino stud?
b. I think I already turned you down before, remember?
c. Why don’t you just ask me outright if I will fuck you?

My friend wants to dance with you …?

a. I’m already dancing, but thank you.
b. How old are you guys, twelve?
c. Tell him no to the dance, but I’ll have sex with him later . . . in his dreams.

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 27th, 2007 at 5:19 pm and is filed under Humour, Naughty. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.