Since I was running a tad late for work the other morning, I was still wrapped in a bath towel when the FedEx guy knocked on my door. I did not want him to leave my precious package out in the open like the UPS Oops Man does . . . plus I was expecting him to be middle-aged, balding, and overweight. Which is why I answered the door wrapped in a bath towel and clutching a hand towel over my left breast, which, of course, completely excused my lack of modesty. Only Package Boy turned out to be Mr. Fed-XXX — he was g-o-r-g-e-o-u-s!!!! The perfect height, proportionate weight, dazzling smile, earrings in both ears, and eyelashes as long as mine — only not layered with primer and two coats of paint. A guy like that can handle my packages any time!

“Hu-llo”, I stammered brilliantly, “I don’t usually answer the door like this!” He assured me it was no problem . . . until he went to hand me that computer tracking device thingie that I was supposed to sign. Still clutching Leftie, I tried to sort-of sign the device in mid-air — and of course, signed in the wrong place. I could just feel the amusement coming off him in waves. “Would you like me to hold your towel up?” he chuckled. Well, yes, I would . . . if I hadn’t noticed the wedding ring.

Cue the porn music . . . and be still my throbbing vulva!

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 27th, 2007 at 10:05 am and is filed under Humour, Naughty. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.