I dislike very few people as I do not have the energy to waste on investing emotions in those I consider unworthy of my feelings; for the most part I am simply indifferent in relation to somebody unlikable. Occasionally, there is an exception. The person of whom I am thinking has gone out of her way more than once to make slyly derogative comments towards me that fall just shy of deserving acknowledgment, and far short of retaliation. Clearly, she is reasonably smart. She is also not unattractive, but she is unbearably cocky. Now, I’m the last person to be averse to a healthy ego [this could be the understatement of the year but the day is yet young], however, there is a huge difference between gracious self-esteem and overbearing arrogance.

What is it with people who are inordinately proud of physical features in which they themselves had absolutely no part of the creation process? I’ll be specific: guys with large pricks and girls with large boobs. There’s a reason why being called a “prick” or a “boob” is not a term of endearment! What does it say about you if your entire identity is centralised around one aspect of your physique? Now, let’s say you personally coloured your hair and it looked great on you — that’s something for which you are fully entitled to claim pride. Or perhaps you are an excellent player in the sport of your choice. Or an amazing musician. I sometimes use intelligence as a measuring factor when I describe a personal encounter. I can speak fondly of my intelligence because *I* am the one who developed it. Heaven knows where my brain-power came from because I was no whiz-kid in school and nobody in my immediate family is a genius. But I digress . . .

If nature endowed you with something over which you had no control, that does not entitle you to constantly attempt to mention it in my presence, ad infinitum, over a period of several years, despite my showing absolutely no interest whatsoever!!! Not that I let such trivia annoy me. Instead, as happened recently, I will stand right in front of the person in question and while smiling widely throughout to show that I am only joking, I will list all of the reasons why I dislike that person while the victim in question sits and grins in pure immodesty as he or she thoroughly agrees with my every word.

Want to give it a try?

1. I hate DK because she is bitingly funny.
d. I hate DK because she works hard at staying in shape.
7. I hate DK because she is cleverer than I are.
a. I hate DK because she went through the pain and expense of plastic surgery just so she could show us heathens her tits.
14. I hate DK because she can’t count!
2. I hate DK because she has that weird English accent.
h. I hate DK because _______________?

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Author’s Note:
Envy is the desire to possess. Jealousy is the fear of losing something precious.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 29th, 2008 at 10:54 am and is filed under Humour. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.