It really IS all about me!
that you’ve all been dying to know:
1. I am 5′0″ and yet weigh 115-118 lbs due to having a lot of tightly toned muscle.
2. My weight fluctuates by 1-4 pounds from day to day.
3. I have amazingly long fingers for a woman of *any* height.
4. My ring size is a SEVEN!!
5. You could practically set your calendar by my menstrual cycle.
6. My eyes are not one, but three separate colours. I have rings of green, brown, and gold (that together look hazel).
7. I can eat as much, if not more, than most men I know.
8. I never went through a crawling stage as an infant. Apparently, I just got up one day and took my first step.
9. My eyelashes are blonde and invisible without several coats of dark mascara.
10. I cannot stand to have any kind of substance on my hands… to the point where I will prepare food wearing rubber gloves.
11. I wear reading glasses despite having 20/20 vision.
12. I have a hard time typing the letter “v”; I always seem to hit the “c” instead.
13. I am highly claustrophobic.
14. Not one area of my body has hair that matches any other area. (Somewhat like a calico kat.)
15. I am deathly afraid of deep water.
16. I love the smell of brand new tires and tennis shoes.
17. I love the feel of a notepad after I have written on both sides of the page.
18. I really don’t like people to walk on my left side.
19. I sometimes make up outrageous lies in my internet journal.
20. Ok, sometimes more often than sometimes.
21. I was a *really* fat baby; my birth weight was 8 lbs, 2 ozs, and according to EvilMummy, I had rolls of fat resembling the Michelin man.
22. I am both lactose and idiot intolerant.
23. Based on my physical appearance, strangers never expect me to be (1) nice, (2) kind, (3) intelligent, or (4) funny.
24. Fortunately, I am none of the aforementioned.
25. I am an anal-retentive neat-freak. Seriously.
26. I can type up to 120 wpm.
27. I can change traffic lights from red to green at will. Sometimes it takes a couple of minutes though.
28. My I.Q. is 147. Although it tends to dumb down about 100 points when I have a Blonde Moment.
29. I throw like a girl. I mean, really.
30. I am, however, a pretty good darts player. Sometimes.
31. Even though I bounced the *winning* dart out of the double-bullseye last night. Twice. In. One. Game.
32. I have skydived 18 times. After graduating from student training, I lost my nerve and quit.
33. I can operate a parachute in the air and make a perfect landing on the ground.
34. I am a really lousy parachute packer.
35. I once modeled for Boris Vallejo and Julie Bell.
36. I share living space with four kats. Their accumulated weight is approximately 70 lbs.
37. My name in Chinese is Zhi Li.
38. I am a highly spiritual atheist.
39. I used to be able to bicep-curl 40 lbs. Separately, with each arm.
40. I once accidentally killed a Black Widow spider. Despite that I have killed many spiders over the years, I still feel guilty about the Black Widow because she was so very beautiful. Does this mean it’s okay to kill ugly creatures?
41. I often PMS immediately after I ovulate. This has led some of my friends to compare me to the Black Widow (Mate-and-Then-Kill Syndrome). Hence the guilt about killing one?
42. I am very tiny … and yet I contain so much evil.
43. My given name rhymes with “peculiar”. :-/ (Brit is my nickname.)
44. I am virtually phobic about other people taking my photograph.
45. I hide that extremely well.
46. I would kick Angelina Jolie out of bed for eating crackers.
47. But not for eating me. Unless she was not very good at it.
48. I am blessed with having some incredibly awesome and beautiful friends.
49. I love my job.
50. I am a rabid anti-smoker.
51. I have lived in two countries, three American states, and numerous towns and cities.
52. I have been to eight countries.
53. I have never worn braces on my teeth.
54. I sometimes think about things that are not sexually related.
55. I was kidding on that last one.
August 8th, 2005 at 12:31 pm
(Comments copied over from LiveJournal):
yeahimadork
2005-05-04 17:48
I took an IQ test once, and it said I had an IQ of 152. Obviously, those tests are NOT ACCURATE.
I sometimes think about things that are not sexual, too. Yeah, right.
danjeruskurves
2005-05-04 17:53
I think my score was only so high because I got the smart guy next to me to give me most of the answers. Kind of like when I took my driver’s test in L.A.
yeahimadork
2005-05-04 19:47
Clearly, no knowledge of driving or common sense is required to get a driver’s license in LA (excluding myself. I am of course a very skilled and talented driver). It’s road rage central around here.
danjeruskurves
2005-05-04 19:54
Oh no … try driving in Houston some time! Buncha fucking wannabe cowboys.
Andy
2005-05-04 18:57
55 things? 55? WTF?
What the hell type of packaging is that? I thought it had to be either “99 things”, or “100 things”, or you could go for broke and do the “101 things”. But 55? Come on, Brit, we don’t use the metric system here. you owe us at least 44 more factoids. Hell, make them up. I often do.
When I was a young child. I played “Butchy Boy” on the local Bozo the Clown Show.
See how easy that is? A gypsy once fortold that I would kill a man with my bare hands. Christ this is a cinch.
And I agree about the IQ tests. I did on that said 145. No way. I’m a firgin idoit. (however I am smart enought to know that I’m not that smart.) Oh yea, My greeat grandfather went to school with Howard Taft.
danjeruskurves
2005-05-04 19:51
At least I left out things like:
56. Although I never fart in front of anybody, I can, in fact out-fart anybody in both length and volume. (Bet that one’ll get me laid.)
57. I keep my vagina between my legs.
58. My pussy is squeaky tight.
59. I also have fabulous muscle control.
60. But I don’t actually *need* it.
61. The only facials I enjoy are of the non-semen variety.
62. I’m getting new boobs in October this year.
63. I can burp really loud.
64. I *will* do that in front of people.
65. Cuz I’m a lady and all.
66. The oldest man I have ever dated was 61 at the time.
67. I am an excellent licker of … things.
68. I have been known to fake orgasms.
69. I don’t particularly enjoy the 69 position.
70. I make up the rules as I go along.
71. This means I don’t have to actually follow the rules.
72. I feel strangely drawn to the number 55.
73. I was born on Bastille Day.
74. Now you have to buy me birthday gifts.
Does that help?
Andy
2005-05-04 20:06
That helps, a bit. But you’re still shy by 25
New boobs in October? Can I have your old ones? Or at least be able to say goodbye to them?
My brother played drums for Rupert Holmes, for his famous song “Escape (The Pina Colida Song). My borther actually suggested “Pina Colida”. Rubert was going to go with “Margaritas” but my brother told him that was too close to Jimmy Buffet and suggested Pina Colidas and, well the rest is history.
danjeruskurves
2005-05-04 20:29
I’ll be holding an auction to sell off the old implants. The proceeds will, of course, go to charity. Charity, of course, begins at home.
Andy
2005-05-05 14:03
A somewhat famous porn actress (Twin towers or something….) just acutioned her old implants on Ebay. She got several thousdand dollars for them.
I was once “clinicly dead” for 4 minutes.
wombatcity
2005-05-04 19:46
What the hell is vlaustrophobic?
danjeruskurves
2005-05-04 19:56
I think it’s somebody who is deathly afraid of pickles.
lawless1
Angelina Jolie would never be in my bed to begin with but I’d do Brad Pitt.
2005-05-04 20:51
You don’t like 69? Is there something wrong with you???
danjeruskurves
2005-05-04 21:03
Ehh … 69-ing is OK for novelty value. But I can’t fully focus on getting and giving at the same time, so it tends to dilute the process.
75. I generally prefer the man to be on top when I’m having sex.
gumphood
2005-05-05 12:57
I agree. But they are just quotes…you don’t actually knows what happens. … and mostly… you’ll be shocked.
danjeruskurves
2005-05-05 13:02
Nice non-sequitur … I’m clueless, so I’ll just smile and nod…
gumphood
2005-05-05 14:38
that was of course in regards to you Jack Bauer comments on my entry about 24. Now switch 24 and Jack Bauer and it will make more sense.
danjeruskurves
2005-05-05 16:05
Oh, but *of course*! New Rule: No confusing The Blonde before noon.
Procrasto
2005-05-05 15:19
I have a squeaky clean pussy…
…cat.
Actually - wait. No he shits everywhere and smells of pee.
I have also concluded that your name is Mzarulieworetuliar.
danjeruskurves
2005-05-05 16:05
Call me crazy … but have you thought about getting a litter box?
Procrasto
2005-05-05 16:49
Yeah - But I really don’t lik ethe way it feels under my fingernails.
Y’know???
danjeruskurves
2005-05-05 20:46
Ooh, I know what you mean … or the way it sticks to your butt hair!!
surlycanadian
2005-05-05 20:59
Yeah, I have an IQ of 150 according to a bunch of IQ tests. Probably mostly due to logical aspects of my questions. Of course… everything matters with those tests… including how long it takes you. And quick doesnt mean smarter for those. I dunno. I dont take them for anything more than they are. I;m happy knowing that I’m at least smart and interesting enough to hold a conversation.
I’d love to learn more facts about you and sex. Perhaps one day
danjeruskurves
2005-05-05 21:11
I’m getting a little sick and tired of all you hoars sweet peoples telling me how dumb I am in comparison to your over-sized IQ’s.
No. 76. Especially since not a one of you is sleeping with me!