Lusciousness
I had the most deliciously lazy-arse weekend. I really didn’t do much of anything. I was fully prepared to go out for my usual Friday night dance-off and I was really looking forward to the stress-relief. In order to have the Energizer Bunny energy that is required to stay on the dance floor for 90 minutes or more, I always have to take a post-work nap. The problem is that I’m not always able to fall asleep so sometimes I have to drink a glass of wine to make me drowsy. Then, of course, I have a really hard time waking up. Or I wake up around midnight. Which was the case this past Friday. Ho hum.
On Saturday I met my friend Rick at the pub, had a couple of drinks with some of the girls and then we went to dinner at Cafe Toulouse. If you live in Houston, I insist you should check it out. It’s on Woodway and Bering. It’s a really pretty little building, has a lovely front deck, the food is fabulous, and the management and servers are all friends of mine. Unlike with me, they won’t serve you gallons of lovely free wine, but I’m sure you won’t mind paying your way. After dinner we floated back to the pub on clouds of wine fumes and hung out there for a while. The folks from Cafe Toulouse showed up shortly after and when I left they were busy doing shots of Yaegermeister with Rick.
When I woke up on Sunday I decided it was high time that I turned into an alcoholic. Most of my friends are heavy drinkers and they mock my lightweight attempts at drinking with them. To show them that I can hang with the big dogs, I decided to get drunk and go back to sleep. Yeah, alcohol before noon! Party on! I called my best friend Kelli and left her a voicemail proudly announcing my intentions and then I fixed myself a stiff vodka-tonic and slurped about half of it down … and within 10 minutes I was snoring on the sofa … and didn’t wake up for FOUR HOURS! Kelli called back 2-3 times leaving me hilarious messages while I blissfully slept through the phone ringing. She finally called me again in the early evening and demanded to know how much alcohol I had managed to put away BEFORE NOON. When I mumbled my answer she went off into hysterical laughter for about an hour. When she finally calmed down she informed me that my lame attempt at becoming a drunkard was a “fucking embarrassment to alcoholics everywhere”. Well, hell, not everybody can drink like a redheaded wench of Irish descent. Besides, don’t you have to go to meetings in order to be an alcoholic?
So, I was catching up on Andria’s blog and she mentioned listening to Tom Jones in her car. That reminded me that I hadn’t listened to MY Tom Jones CD in quite some time. I scooted over to the CD tower to immediately discover that my beloved CD had gone AWOL!! Andria has burned a whole bunch of CDs for me recently, so I bolted to my PC and shot her a quick email asking her to burn me a copy of her Tom Jones CD. I apologised for the shortness of the email but neglected to mention WHY I was in a hurry. I then ran back downstairs and opened the patio door in the 100F heat to air out the stench of the incredibly charred garlic and onions I had been sautéing while typing my “quick” email …
Current Mood: 
[hic]
August 8th, 2005 at 12:09 pm
(Comments copied over from LiveJournal):
yeahimadork
2005-05-23 17:07
Dear, that was a pretty sorry attempt at being a lush. As someone who has mastered being drunk before noon, you’re better off being a lightweight. All it will result in is you doing stupid things like having sex in a bar while it’s being videotaped unbeknownst to you.
Drunk hoar.
danjeruskurves
2005-05-23 17:18
For the love of Zeus, I totally forgot that I was going to include a mention of you causing me to burn my dinner! (I just added it to the post a moment ago). Hoar. bwahahaha
yeahimadork
2005-05-23 17:33
Hahahaha!! We both burnt our dinner! I put some chicken in the oven, and forgot about it during my home assembly nightmare, only to realize I left one chicken breast in a 400 degree oven for TWO HOURS.
Great minds think (or burn) alike, dahling. Tom’s on his way today!
Rik
Rik
2005-05-23 17:23
The right way to defile yourself. DK, here’s how it’s done. You have to get up early if you want to be an alchy. Start around 6, and grab your drink of choice. Make sure you have a big breakfast, preferably steak and eggs, and wash it down with another drink. Now you’ll feel like you want to go to sleep, RESIST THE URGE!!! Pound a glass of water, and then make sure you do something active. For me this usually means moving my friends’ shit across town, soccer, etc . . . Keep drinking, moving and hydrating. 1 drink booze, 1 glass water, 2 booze, 1 water, 3 booze, 1 water, then 1 to 1 to 1 to 1 to 1, etc…
Also, make sure you only hang around cute people
danjeruskurves
2005-05-23 17:42
Dahling, I can’t drink that much fluid in a week, let alone a day!
Xquzme gimme a shot
2005-05-23 17:28
Yes, darling. That really is very weak of you. You need to hang with me and Andria to really know what being drunk before noon is all about. It helps if you are still slightly hammered from the night before, but we realize that this will take some getting used to for you, since you’re probably one of those people who, like, drinks WATER and takes ASPIRIN when they get home to ensure they go to bed sober (feh). There’s nothing like Sat. am TV with a good screwdriver buzzz…
danjeruskurves
2005-05-23 17:44
Oh hell no, I don’t take aspirin! I’m a Tylenol girl … so yeah, I’m thinking you and me, baby, next year, should fly to Southern California and party with Andria. Interested?
yeahimadork
2005-05-23 17:37
Xquzme, I think I drink so much just so I can have that tasty bloody mary with extra pepper and hot sauce the next day. Taking aspirin and drinking water before bed is for sissies.
Let’s go get a drink, sister.
danjeruskurves
2005-05-23 17:45
I’m not a complete novice … I’ve had mimosas at brunch! Oh godde, I am so lame.
Proud member of Lightweights Anonymous
lawless1
2005-05-23 20:00
I’m with you DK; I’m a terrible lightweight. My brother used to call me Two Beer Tanya…
danjeruskurves
2005-05-23 20:03
Oh how cool, you have an Indian tribal name!
Rik
2005-05-24 18:02
I think i fixed it . . . thanks again for the interview.
NoGoodDaddy here
2005-05-24 23:41
I linked to you. Be creative and figure out who you are. Rememebr…I’ve seen your nekkie pics. Wombat made me look.
danjeruskurves
2005-05-25 15:41
You linked me! you really linked me!! … figure out who I am? um, huh? hope you enjoyed the nudies, Wombat made me take the shower pics!
Pass the tequila
Xquzme
2005-05-25 16:30
Yes, yes definitely let’s go party with Andria. I’m thinking we could be serious trouble. Let’s grab Rhi, too. OHCurvyOne, this is weird — one of your comments never showed up on my Diary, but I got it in my gmail through the notification. WTF? What is UP with DLand’s comments? and people wonder why we switch to other blogsites….
Xquzme
2005-05-25 16:31
And by the way, I detest Tequila unless it is well disguised in a Margaritta. Or a LI Iced Tea. Okay, so I like it, I just can’t shoot it. But don’t worry your pretty little lightweight head, DK. You and Tequila shots shall never meet.
danjeruskurves
2005-05-25 16:46
I can do ONE tequila shot if I have to … but I much prefer top-shelf margaritas!!
danjeruskurves
2005-05-25 16:45
… and WarCry, we can invite her too … and my insane best friend!
*Some* people wonder why *some* other people go BACK to DiarrheaLand …