What’s In A Name?
Dear Nephew Ryan,
When your Mum [also known as “my sister”] and me were growing-up, our father [also known as “your grandfather on the Bishop side of the family”], had a wee bit of difficulty with remembering two different daughters’ names. As a result, I was often referred to by him as “LynJu”, while your Mum was known to answer to “JuLynne”. Your grandmother sometimes remarked that perhaps she should have numbered us instead of naming us. I suspect that would have simply led to my being known as “OneTwo”. Personally, I believe this name confusion was probably the first of many signs of your grandfather’s impending senility.
In answer to your question, “Where’s mine?” in regard to the Texas baseball caps which I recently sent, as posed via your Mum’s funny phone message, the premature senility gene appears to have been passed to your mother. About six months ago, around Xmess-time, I sent a parcel containing presents for all four of you. I separated the items, wrapped them in tissue paper, and taped name tags to each person’s individual presents. That is “presents”, plural, as each person had more than one gift. I did not realise at the time that when the name “Ryan” is written in my handwriting that it clearly looks like “Elliott”. There was a baseball cap in that parcel, wrapped in tissue paper, bearing the name tag “Ryan” that your Mum, in her infinite wisdom, clearly saw was really intended for Elliott, despite the name tag.
THAT is what happened to your original baseball cap. Please find enclosed a replacement cap. We can discuss a nursing home for your mother at a later date.
Love from Auntie Julia
p.s., It has never come up in conversation between your Mum and me as to whether you kept your father’s surname or took your stepfather’s. At this point, I’m afraid to ask, what with all the other name confusion going-on.
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