Just Lately
Dear Boss,
Everso sorry I was a little late for work yesterday. Not that you ever notice . . . and certainly not that I’m complaining that you never notice. I mean, you wouldn’t believe some of the places I’ve worked where if I walked in 10 minutes late they acted like the entire organisation was going to collapse, even though they were pefectly aware that I was going to crank-out 8 hours of work in 4.25 hours and twiddle my thumbs for the rest of the day. The thing is, I had to stop by my leasing office. No, they were not particularly busy, but a certain amount of social intercourse is only to be expected. Actually, before I could go to the leasing office I had to drive roughly ten miles to the witches lair compounding pharmacy that concocts the medicines for two of my “special needs” kats. Fortunately, there was nobody else in line so they processed my purchase instantly and thus I was not in the least bit delayed by that errand. On the way there, however, I had to actually drive past the street where the pharmacy is located in order to reach a warehouse store where I could buy two large containers of biscuits [that’s “cookies” to you North Americans]. I then drove to the pharmacy where, as aforementioned, they promptly took care of my order. As it happens, I have a not-so-secret huge crush on my vet and he loves the cookies [and I don’t just mean the sugar-laden variety]. By pure coincidence, my vet’s clinic happens to be located mere blocks away from the pharmacy and thus I took practical advantage of this locational convenience to drop-off one of the boxes of goodies. Having accomplished these all-important tasks, I then drove the ten or so miles back to my apartment building and delivered the second container of sugary-goodness to the ladies in my leasing office. Then just as I was walking back to my apartment to actually get ready for work, I ran into our postman and, naturally, I had to check to see if he had a package for me . . . if you know what I mean. So, as you can see, a pre-work stop at the leasing office is not always as fast or straightforward as one might assume.
Yours faithfully [or at least until I find a new job],
DK
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May 8th, 2008 at 10:17 am
I knew I should’ve been a Vet… then I might get some goodies… but what the hell… the next time your car needs to be fixed just take it to your VET!!! So Sorry… hope that didn’t sound too jealous…
May 8th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
You have a crush on an Aggie? Disaster looms.
As an A&M grad, I am fully qualified to point this out.
May 8th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
VTech: Then again, I can always take my car to Firestone [which is where we originally met] since they are only 1/2 a mile from my apt and they are open on Sundays and they give me twice the amount of credit for half the amount of interest.
Rio: Why, no, his name is “Jim”, not “Aggie” … and he’s not Scottish either. *head tilt*
May 8th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
Ask to see his diploma. Then you’ll know what I’m talking about (unless you’re playing coy already, one of the many things I love about you).
Besides, it’s a good icebreaker. Not as good as “I bet I’ve castrated more male dogs than you have”, but a good way to move into his space nonetheless.
May 8th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
Rio: It’s not his “diploma” that I’d like to see … but, fortunately, he happens to be very happily married and my fantasy happens to be beautifully satisfying in and of itself [as is usually the case].
I love your dog quote, it reminds me of a lingerie ad I saw in L.A.: “While one shouldn’t necessarily dress for a man, it doesn’t hurt, on occasion, to see one drool like the dog that he is.”
May 9th, 2008 at 12:44 am
smiling…. you know you would never have to pay for another car repair if you didnt want to my goddess…now thats a credt line that never collects interest..unlimited rubber (tires) who wouldnt want a worry free car (toyota)….
May 9th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
VTech: It’s not that I’m necessarily averse to whoring myself, because let’s face it, we’re all whores on some level [take a woman on a date and have sex afterwards? you just paid for it … and she just whored herself]. It’s just that [a] I would have restrictions as to what I would be willing to do, and [b] I would want to make sure I got what I’m worth and I suspect that would be an issue for the other party. I could be easy, but I definitely couldn’t be cheap.
May 9th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
You said: “my fantasy happens to be beautifully satisfying in and of itself [as is usually the case]. ” I could not agree more, the older I get, the more disappointed I tend to be when my fantasies come true. A scant few have ended up better than I imagined, but that is SO not the norm.
Oh wait, am I drifting off on a tangent, dang, my bad. I would’ve commented but nothing poignant nor witty came to mind, plus it’s 3:45 on a rainy Friday afternoon I’m surprised I’ve strung this many coherent words together.
May 11th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
well, here’s hoping I run into you some day when wearing my postal worker uniform. “Package,” indeed.
Don’t ask why I’d be wandering the neighborhood in a postal uniform. It’s complicated.
May 12th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
Good one DK - you are such a little temptress. And I’m sure your vet loves your cookies…you devil you!