Kat Etiquette
So there I was at my friend Shu’s apt yesterday, pretending to pay her attention, while in reality, visiting The Kittens. (Digression Alert!) At this point I must digress to report that the Fabled Diet has long since gone The Way of the Dinosaurs as I was ordered to bring Ms. Shu a hulking Jack Crack burger with, and I am not making this up, “ONLY meat, cheese, and bread … and fries … and a regular coke“. When I arrived I wasn’t quite sure if Shu was even there since the entire apt was billowing clouds of noxious cigarette smoke that would put an opium den to shame (the Quitting Smoking Plan goeth well indeed). So anyway, I was holding Apollo the Kitten in my arms like a baby while he contentedly gnawed on my left thumb when suddenly, with no warning whatsoever, my handbag began to emit the foreplay buzzing which signals an imminent ringing of my Kat Phone. Shu *immediately* failed to unglue her arse from the sofa, leap over the coffee table, and launch herself at the handbag in order to retrieve said phone and hand it to me… instead I was forced to put my left foot onto a stool, shift Apollo from my two-armed balance to my left arm/thigh, stand on one leg in my platform sandals, and retrieve the ringing phone myself while Shu sat by smirking and proffering such inane remarks as: “You can’t put the kat down?”