517
Oh. My. Goddess. This is my 517th post!!!!!!!!!!! Five Hundred and Seventeen!!! Do you know what that means???????? . . .
Well, nothing, actually. It’s just that I’ve noticed some people keep track of this sort-of thing. Yes, yes, I know I probably should have celebrated my 500th post, but it must have slipped my mind . . . well, that and I really don’t give a damn. The fact that this might not really, actually, be my 517th post is irrelevant. As I sometimes assign a post to more than one category (i.e., Humourous and GoFuckYerself or Erotica and Kat Tails), it’s possible that WordPress in its infinite non-wisdom, may be counting that as two posts. Again, I don’t care. All that matters is that I did not resort to the latest copycat quiz making the rounds of blogs and websites just because a little Writer’s Block has been kicking my arse.
No, I will not resort to the “blogger’s” cop-out of posting some unoriginal and much-recycled “meme”. Firstly because I am NOT a “blogger” . . . I have been writing poems, stories, diaries, and amusing letters since I was a mere slip of a child! Do you see the word “blog” anywhere in my domain name? NO, you don’t! Stop trying to drag me into your sheep-like cult!! . . .
[pregnant pause] . . .
and secondly because I can always resort to posting some T&A. Well, for another week or two and then Middle Age Spread is going to put the kibosh on that . . . ~sigh~
Fine.
I’ll post some fresh meat T&A before the end of the week.
July 9th, 2008 at 9:24 am
Intelligent, witty, creative and hot. Hmm, I think that combination is illegal in 48 out of 50 states, be careful when driving across state lines, wouldn’t want you to get arrested for unnecessary possession of desirable traits.
July 9th, 2008 at 10:56 am
THERE IS NOTHING SEXIER THAN MIDDLE AGE SPREAD….( FIRM BUTTOCKS… FIRM PERKY BREASTS…. ) THAT GETS OLD TOO!…. I WOULDNT TRADE YOU FOR THE WORLD!!! PS… IM NOT SAYING THAT YOUR ARSE AND BOOBS AREN’T FIRM AND PERKY….. ;}
July 9th, 2008 at 11:26 am
Crap !!!!!!! 3 times I’ve tried to post my thoughts on this ……………………………….I give the fuck up !!!!!! now, watch this one go through !
July 9th, 2008 at 11:27 am
fuck
LMAO !!
figure
July 9th, 2008 at 11:46 am
I must air my displeasure with the fact that you are toned and perky. I already know for sure that your upcoming “display” will fail to measure up. Let me explain. You, DK, are breaking several codes by working without some very important basic equipment. This is stuff you should have been working with a *decade* ago, and yet you show no sign of compliance. I speak of your boobie stretchmarks. Where are they? Saddlebags! Belly pooch! Ass saggery! WHERE IS IT , DAMNIT? See here, you lingerie-wearing, perky-breasted, picture-clickin’ harlot, the next time you shuck down I wanna see varicose veins like a nest of SNAKES, do you hear me??? Cellulite! Double chins! Long teats and an ass like a quivering vat of tallow! You will bring all these thing up to specs or I WILL SHUT YOU DOWN, MISSY. I have been known to travel with my kit of duct tape, porkproducts and Krispy Kremes. Don’t make me do it, DK. Don’t…make…me…
July 9th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Darlin, who cares what number you are on as long as ya keep posting. I like the TnA (your gear is way to nice to be labeled middle age spread lol) but it is your ability to make damn near anything interesting that brings me back.
Well maybe not all of em, some DO like boobies.
July 9th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
HRT: Phew, thank goodness I remembered to mail your monthly Complimenter’s Cheque!
VTech: I can’t quite figure out your comment! However, I will point out in my usual smartarse fashion that middle-age spread occurs *in between* the breasts and buttocks!
Cat: Um … huh? What happened?
Myra: Trust me babe, I’m just an expert on dressing — and undressing — to disguise the Michelin Man rolls of back fat and the bloated stomach. However, there are only so many times you can use the same stretched poses before things start to get a little old … and if you think I don’t airbrush my face by now then I have some sweet, sweet land in rural Louisiana to sell to you.
July 9th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
Your body is much better than average regardless of age and even if it wasn’t your mind is the trump card.
I’m on a carb free diet as we speak and I’m about to say ‘fuck it’ before I go on a five state killing spree.
July 9th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
sorry…the firm buttocks and perky breast reference was in reference to a person that wasnt of middle age ….. ummm like me
July 9th, 2008 at 11:03 pm
I think “517″ sounds like a hot sexy movie directed by Quentin Tarentino with Johnny Depp in a nude love scene with a brilliant sexy blonde who writes a pithy, entertaining blog.
July 10th, 2008 at 11:05 pm
I will STILL tie you to a chair and make you eat bacon.