elusiveness
Sometimes this dating game just feels so absolutely horrible that I think I’m going to have to quit it permanently because no matter how much time I take off from it, the game still sucks when I return. But the idea of always being alone or playing the third wheel stinks just as bad. I can’t rid myself of this demeaning hope that someday I’ll meet The Right Guy. Just that very hope in and of itself sickens me. WHY can so many lesser (yes, I said it: lesser) people seem to find happiness in relationships and yet I can’t? Codependents, crazy people, even ugly people . . . but *I* can’t?
Current mood: disillusioned
Current music: just the voices in my head