Damn Furriners!
I have been a naturalised American citizen since 1994, at least according to the U.S. government. According to the British government I have dual nationality, and thus have two passports. (Imagine trying to travel with two passports in this day and current political situation!) The “citizenship test” was a scream and I very seriously doubt that any average American born and raised could have answered the majority of the potential questions on the sample list of 100 they gave me. I temporarily memorized the entire list, not knowing which potential *3* they would ask me. It got to the point where I could answer the questions backwards, forwards, and sideways and had even come up with a couple of witty mnemonics.
So there I was at my interview, feeling confident albeit a little nervous . . . and the nice INS lady asks me my first question . . . WHICH WAS NOT ON THE LIST THEY GAVE ME!!!!!!!! So, naturally, I panicked and my mind went blank and as happens in such grave moments my memory decided to play games with me and all I could think of [and don’t ask me where this came from] was “penguin”. What was the question???? “What is our national bird?” and I wanted to answer “penguin”… and to this day I have no idea why. After a few “ummms” and “ahhhs” I managed to stammer out “The eagle. Yes! THE EAGLE!!” Boy was I pleased with myself. Next question please! Something about an amendment . . . My answer? “The right to arm bears!” Doing great so far, now the nice INS lady is struggling to keep a straight face and since the video camera was behind her, I’ll just say she wasn’t doing a very good job of it and I’m just flatout laughing my arse off.
Third, and final question: “What do we celebrate on the 4th of July?” My answer: “Our independence from the BRITISH TYRANTS!!”
Amazingly enough, they let me stay in the country anyway.