My New Boyfriend
I just realised that I have a new boyfriend. Except he’s not really new. And he’s not really my boyfriend. In fact, I don’t even know his name. I’ve probably known more about most one-night stands than I do about him.** But, still, he’s the closest thing I have to an actual boyfriend right now. Technically, he’s more of a dance partner than a boyfriend. Although we don’t really exactly dance together. But we have danced right next to one another every week for several months now. Did I mention that he’s gorgeous? Well, except for the waist-length dreadlocks. Even though that’s kind of sexy on him. He has the most beautiful facial bone structure and a dazzling smile and pretty eyes. And an awesome body. From what I can see of it in the random flashing lights on the dance floor. Or the occasional random touch. We have slow-danced together. Sort-of. I cannot tell his ethnicity. His skin is white but he has an exotic look. He always wears black. He also wears big silver rings on every finger, which looks good on him. Classy in an artistic fashion. He smokes cigarettes on the dance floor (and off for all I know); but again, unlike so many others, he cups the cigarette in his fist so as not to burn anybody around him. This guy is a class act all the way. He’s extraordinarily polite. He never, ever, jumps into my dance space. He has never once gotten in my face, unlike a lot of people at myNightclub. He always politely compliments what I’m wearing. He even asks if I would care for anything to drink. I think he may have an accent, but it’s difficult to tell because the music is so loud. I’ve never talked to him away from the dance floor. This past weekend, due to the too-close proximity of other dancers, I spun around to find myself gyrating about half an inch away from his thigh. At the end of the song I put my mouth to his ear and joked that I had “almost humped his leg”. And he apologised to me. As though he had somehow done something wrong by merely being there. Yes, he has impeccable manners. And dreadlocks. This past weekend was the closest we have come to actually dancing “together”. The DJ for some bizarre reason chose to play an inappropriately slow song. A really lengthy slow song. Usually I’ll just close my eyes and sway along to that sort of song. But this time I slowly backed into “my partner” and pressed very lightly against him. He placed his left hand very gently on my hip and with his right hand he stroked the back of my neck. I did not have any naughty thoughts at all at that moment … [cough] … We are sort-of protective of one another on the dance floor. Both of us get uninvited would-be dance partners who jump into our space and thrust themselves against us. Sometimes if the uninvitee is really attractive we will allow them to dance with us briefly while flashing grins at one another. At other times we “use” one another to deflect unwanted partners. I have lately been considering following him to the bar the next time he offers me a drink. I would introduce myself and learn his name and ask what he does for a living. But then again, that might ruin the current mystique that we share about one another and which I rather enjoy.
I wonder if I can get him to cut his hair … and quit smoking.
Current Mood: 
flirtatious
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
**(exaggeration for humour-purposes only)
see: Disclaimer
August 28th, 2005 at 3:44 pm
DK, you dumb hoar. OF COURSE you should follow him to the bar and talk to him. Fuck mystique. And, a girl who’s smart and talented enough can talk her man into anything.
August 28th, 2005 at 3:46 pm
Andria, damn you … I am laughing too hard to think of a snappy retort. I’ll be back.
August 28th, 2005 at 4:00 pm
I’m all for a good leg-hump. The dreadlocks don’t bother me much but the ciggies have got to go!
Hoar.
August 28th, 2005 at 9:59 pm
Talk him into cutting his hair? Why do women always want to change their men? Is it a disease that you’ve all inherited? If he cuts his hair, the mystique will be gone. Just go with it.
August 28th, 2005 at 11:29 pm
Rik: I think it all started with Samson and Delilah … however, I happen to like long hair … but I’m really not looking to hook-up with anybody from myNightclub.
August 29th, 2005 at 7:05 am
I like the mystery. Keep him at an arm’s length. I hate when people smoke on the dance floor.
August 29th, 2005 at 7:40 am
Maybe you should grow some dreds, take up smoking, wear silver and stop trying to change men?
No?
Well it was just a thought.
Seriously, this guy could be the guy…or the guy behind the guy behind the guy, or a serial murderer. Either way he might be pretty ok in the sack so I’m thinking you should check it out.
August 29th, 2005 at 8:14 am
I’m thinking you dorks all need to read my Disclaimer again … especially the part about “do not take this seriously” …. hehehe
August 29th, 2005 at 12:14 pm
Who is serious? I will kick the ass of the first serious person I see here! Maybe I should start with the next person to post…I mean after me.
No that won’t work, Ok how about this….I will just randomly kick someone’s ass and then scream at them to stop taking dangerous so fucking seriously.
No that is to much like “What’s the frequency Kenneth”
Ok I got it.
You just tell me who’s ass you want kicked and I’m all over it like ugly on an ape!
August 29th, 2005 at 1:29 pm
He’s probably gay.
Man I can’t believe no one made that joke yet.
Me and my obvious jokes rule! — P.P.
August 29th, 2005 at 3:21 pm
Nightmare: I think Rik could use a good beating.
Plop: You rule no matter what! Of course, what you rule exactly is beyond me … Now that you come to mention it, this club IS a melting pot of all types, styles, genders, and … uh … preferences.
August 29th, 2005 at 5:19 pm
I was so relieved to find that it wasn’t real. There’s still a chance for me! Oh, you look lovely, care for a gin and tonic?
August 29th, 2005 at 5:23 pm
Fool: absolutely NOT! How dare you even suggest such a thing!? I’ll take a vodka-tonic instead.
(p.s., the guy is real … but my intentions towards him are not)
August 29th, 2005 at 9:00 pm
Well nuff said then. Would you like to see my etchings?
August 30th, 2005 at 7:28 am
Um… you could always take a pic of him with one of those newfangled camera phones, blow it up life size and then cut off his hair.
You could also paint him nekked too I suppose if you were to get a kick out of that. And the beauty of it all is that you would never break the sanctity of your unsaid understandings.
There. I knew I could help.
Now beat me like a red headed stepchild.
August 31st, 2005 at 7:23 am
That’s it Rik You get the “Beatin o’ the Week” So pack a lunch and light cause this might take all day.
August 31st, 2005 at 10:44 am
God, I wish I could dance. As it is, I look like an epileptic chicken, so it’s best that I don’t. In public.
August 31st, 2005 at 1:41 pm
OooooH! Let’s make up a name for him until (if) you find it out.
It should be one of those older names nobody ever uses anymore but should, like:
Alastair
OR A cool name that is most recognizeable as a word but not a name, like:
Roman
OR
One that just sounds bad-ass sexy, like:
Roderick, or Rod for short
August 31st, 2005 at 2:12 pm
How about something exotic like … Engelbert? ~shudder~
August 31st, 2005 at 2:27 pm
LOL! Or Fabio! I mean, the name is just RUINED forever….
August 31st, 2005 at 2:29 pm
Just so long as it’s not “Bob” or “Steve”.
August 31st, 2005 at 2:32 pm
Test
August 31st, 2005 at 2:50 pm
SurferBoy: I’m happy to announce that you passed the self-inflicted test. See you at the pub!