What’s Better Than Pussy?
MORE pussy!! I know my readers love when I wax [poetic about] my pussy . . .
Have you ever noticed how kats start miaowing incessantly when you get on the phone? Mine practically climb my leg, chew on the phone cord, roll around on the floor, display cute tummies, sing the entire repertoire from Operation Mindcrime, dance the fandango, enact various charades, and generally attempt to command my entire attention. It’s as if they are trying to ask “WHY are you talking to your hand???“
On an entirely related note, I suspect that I have a poltergeist in my townhouse! Things have been getting bumped in the night … if you know what I mean. That’s right, things that should not be getting bumped.
Case No. 1:
I awoke at an ungodly hour this morning when the sound of trickling water brought me to semi-coherence. I realised that the toilet tank had not refilled itself automatically, so I stumbled out of bed in order to open the tank and play with the plumbing. Wait, that was before I got out of bed … Anyway, I discovered that the beastly toilet was, in fact, blocked with toilet tissue. Once I had the plunger thrusting happily into the bowl … [pause to allow dirty thoughts to pass] … I discovered the presence of a plastic tube. The very same packaging that before being emptied would have contained a Kotex© Brand Mouse Mattress©®™. [”It doesn’t have wings but it has a tail!”] By some virtually unbelievable coincidence (get ready, Ripley’s!) the bathroom rubbish bin had also been knocked over and its contents strewn around. My kats are angels and despite that they like to drop their toys in water, I am convinced that this was the evil deed of a supernatural presence.
Case No. 2:
I recently placed a bowl of yummie-delicious© kat fud on top of a stack of boxes while I hunted down one of the felines to give him an insulin shot. While out of the room I heard a mysterious crashing sound. I rushed back just in time to find the bowl right-side up and in the exact spot to which I would have relocated it!! This is the scene of the haunting:
Obviously, my little angels rushed to the crime-scene in order to check that the bowl wasn’t broken or otherwise damaged. I can’t see any other reason for them being there.
September 19th, 2005 at 11:47 am
You really will just use any excuse to write about your pussy.
ATTENTION HOAR.
September 19th, 2005 at 11:51 am
I think your Pussy is smarter then you. It knows when you need to wake up and fiddle with your plumbing, and it also knows when it is time to eat it is time to eat damnit! none of this waiting around for medcine shit.
That is one smart pussy.
September 19th, 2005 at 1:24 pm
Wow. Topics of pussy AND a picture of an anus in THE SAME ENTRY! Oh, how you spoil us…
September 19th, 2005 at 1:28 pm
Should you ever decide to get a pet anus, I would be interested in hearing about it as well. :-)
September 19th, 2005 at 1:29 pm
If you’re not home by 6 o’clock does your pussy have a fit?
September 19th, 2005 at 1:31 pm
Damn….Cole wrested my thunder, making my post look stupid and unoriginal instead of merely the former. That’s what I get for taking a phone call before clicking the submit button.
September 19th, 2005 at 1:58 pm
The supernatural force is clearly the cat at far right. Look at those demonic little eyeballs! (Ok, I know it’s just “cat-eye-on-film” but work with me here…
oooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
GHOSTCAT!
September 19th, 2005 at 4:42 pm
Rio and Cole: If you anal-retentive perverts looked a little closer, you’d see the Siamese kat’s tail is covering his anus. I’ll try to get some kat anus photos posted for you another time.
September 20th, 2005 at 12:09 pm
WE call it “the pencil sharpener”… I mean, that’s kinda gross when you think about it. Scratch that. NO, not THAT. Nevermind. Carry on. J, I’m sure there is an exorcism for a haunted pussy… Oh, the possibilities are endless, n’est ce pas?!!!
September 21st, 2005 at 10:24 am
huh. Someday I should tell you about my pet cock.
Oh yea, when i try to right click my website in and do a paste. You page calls me an “asshole”
No one is trying to steal your artwork. Christ. I hate this latest fad of every blogger displaying a pissed off arrogant message box if you hit a right click while on the page.
September 21st, 2005 at 10:26 am
My kats know who I am talking to on the phone. Especially my little bad black kitty. If it’s someone she doesn’t care about, she says hi and then fucks off. If it’s someone she likes…she will stay near the phone meowing until I hang up. And I learned to keep my toilet closed after once locating the roll of toilet paper therein.
September 21st, 2005 at 11:07 am
Andy, dahling … that only happens when YOU right-click on here. Unfortunately, some people *have* tried to rip off my photography in the past and I lost a pending calendar contract. Hence the right-click disablement. Unfortunately, that extends to the rest of the site and I don’t know how to change that, so blame Pete.
September 21st, 2005 at 11:12 am
Ahhh Dahling, But It doens’t work. I can still take whatever I want using the right click.
Don’t post any work that is pending, and watermark all your images..
Yes I do blame Pete, he has it on his site and WCG too. But as I said, the funny thing is, you haven’t disabled anything. It’s actually kinda funny in an insulting kind of way.
September 21st, 2005 at 11:27 am
Yah, Pete told me that it wouldn’t be that difficult to get past the disable. I’ve had a few people other than you whine about it though so I may have him take it off. That way you can save my photos and draw Groucho glasses and moustaches all over my face or coochie. Whatever turns you on!
September 21st, 2005 at 11:33 am
Go with watermarking your important stuff and don’t forget to compyright your coochie.
September 21st, 2005 at 11:48 am
Hey, at least my message isn’t insulting! Trying to use my boobies as wallpaper again, eh?
September 21st, 2005 at 11:51 am
WCG, it accuses me of stealing.
I’m actually taking the images for some trading cards I’m printing up.
/know I just need to convince Rhi…
September 25th, 2005 at 2:54 am
long after the fact, candoor says: the right click feature I miss most is the ‘open in a new window’ so I can invade other people’s privacy without leaving your page… besides, I only save images in case they are needed to identify you, like if some nice police officer comes to my door asking if I know you, I can show him a picture to be sure he’s got the right danjeruskurves in mind… I mean, in case you wander off somewhere or are abducted by sex crazed trolls, we’d need identifying photos to distribute to the search party… and some of your photos seem ideal for a search party, even if they aren’t looking for anyone at the moment, but that’sbesides the point… see, nothing but noble and virtuous motives here… kind of like Andy’s