Memory Lane
I’m feeling a little nostalgic towards Houston right now so I am going to share a sweet little memory that just popped into my mind amidst a thousand screaming panic-thoughts about how the hell am I going to survive this current recession. There are simply no jobs to be had in Boise and my initial unemployment claim has run out. I’m now waiting to file for a short extension. After that, I have no bloody idea. I’ve been shopping around the local free clinics in a thus-far vain attempt to get my overdue annual girlie exam. It turns out that “free” doesn’t necessarily mean “free”! Who’d have thought it? Right now my days consist of job-hunting, shopping for free essential medical care, job-hunting, crying from pure frustration, job-hunting, hanging out in an AOL chatroom [oh godde, I KNOW!], taking self-portrait photos, and scheming to find a way to get back to Houston where I stand about a 90% better chance of finding a job [not necessarily in my field, but a survival job]. For those of you not paying attention, I fled from Houston to Boise because there were simply no jobs in my field in Houston and as dismal as the job market is in Boise, at least I could survive here on unemployment pittance pay if it came down to that. I truly believed I would find a job in Boise to tide me over for a year or two. I’m still hoping that will happen. No matter what, I am stuck here until the end of next Spring as I won’t detour through the southern route a second time to avoid Colorado/Wyoming snow tornadoes.
But, I digress, as I am apt to do . . .
One night at my old, beloved, hole-in-the-wall Houston nightclub I was standing by the dance floor having my customary complimentary cocktail before starting my dance workout, when along comes this young stud who clearly thought he was Nature’s Gift to Womynkind. I could practically smell the testosterone and scorched earth ego oozing out of his pores as he towered over me with a snide smirk. [I'm all about the alliteration today!] Apparently, he was a subscriber to the Throwing Rocks at Girls theory; the one where a guy starts out by insulting me, thinking I will be charmed by his daring wit. After casually checking me out from head to toe, he finally leaned down and sneered “So, what are you doing here?” Meaning, of course, what on earth could somebody over 25 be doing in such a place — I should mention that the club was literally all ages.
“Well”, I said, “the Manager paid me $50 to stand here and wait until the dumbest, ugliest guy in the place approached me. Thanks.” And with that I flounced onto the dance floor.
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Just a reminder, my lovelies — if you leave a comment that includes a smiley, you have to put a hyphen in the middle, like so: :-D
September 29th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
my favorite line was the young buck who walked up, ran his index finger slowly along my upper chest…..and said ” Hey, Shirley Temple( cuz of my curly hair )………..wanna ride the good ship lollipop ?”………………I wasn’t as cool as you, Julia ………….I almost fell off the stool laughing ……………poor guy !!
September 29th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
That sucks that you’re considering moving all the way BACK again because of work circumstances. Still, I know you miss Houston so maybe it’s a good thing? At least you have a built in support group out there. Still, bah.
I always think of the perfect retort to people’s corny lines way too late. It’s done and gone and I’m already halfway home and I think, “Damn it, I should’ve said…..” :-)
September 29th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
Cat: I wonder if he even had a clue just how funny that line was? :-D
VegAss: OMG you remembered the smiley hyphen! You GO girl!! It *does* suck that I invested the last of my savings in the search for work … and peace of mind, BUT at least I have now satisfied that particular “what if”. I gave serious consideration to a third stint in L.A., but OMG the rents there have become astronomical [$1100 for a studio, $1600 for a 1-bedroom] … and as we both know, a return to the home country would be far … more complicated than a triumphant return to Texass! It’s all in theory for now anyway. :-)
September 29th, 2009 at 8:59 pm
Perfect execution, literally and figuratively.
September 29th, 2009 at 9:16 pm
I can only do those perfect snappy retorts hours later in print….not on the spot like you. Bravo.
September 29th, 2009 at 10:54 pm
Houston is starting to come back to life - companies are starting to spend money. Just sayin…
September 29th, 2009 at 11:27 pm
my room is like a hundred a month and like i will deferr that for every month you show me you boobs so I guess your in for at least six month or until you have a belly button between your tits. you know I’m kidding doll everything but your smyt comment. I drink more tequila now thanks for buying Danger Loves You
by the way smyt stands for truth justice and the americian way…(show me your titts)
September 30th, 2009 at 10:42 am
Myra: Oh believe me, I would have preferred to slit his throat with my razor-sharp wit. ;-)
witty: I’m usually a member of the Hindsight Club too, but I had a couple of minutes to think that up while he was eyeballing me.
Bobby: Keep your guest room available; I might be needing it in May 2010.
DDave: I’m going to need some ear plugs if I have to move into your guest room for a spell, Mr. Wild Sex Guy!! :-D
September 30th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Ha! Shot his ass down like a real Texan cowgal!!! Well played!
September 30th, 2009 at 1:27 pm
Albert: It’s just a darned shame that I can’t imitate a Texan accent, but it delivered well in glacial British tones. :-)