Cellulite of the Ear
Top Five Places That You Should Never Use Your Cell Phone:
1. In hospitals.
2. While driving 15 mph under the speed limit and/or at green lights.
3. In the gym.
4. In any nightclub.
and the top place:
5. Anywhere that I have to endure the mind-numbing, soul-crushing, ear-ringing assault of your inane babbling.
February 7th, 2006 at 12:55 pm
Ugh. I hate the people that have entire conversations on their cell phones out in public.
Last night, in the middle of a FUCKING CONCERT, the twit behind me was screaming into her cell phone about the fight with her boyfriend. In case you were wondering, he’s a big dumb jerk, and he totally doesn’t understand her need to go shopping with her friend Lacey. Because, just like the 17,000 OTHER people in the venue, I’m sure you care about her conversation, too.
February 7th, 2006 at 1:05 pm
I don’t even have a cell phone. I know, I know, join the twenty-first century, why don’t you, Tem? I’ve had them in the past, and I just got sick of having conversations like, “What?…I can’t hear you. WHAT? I CAN’T HEAR YOU! WHAT? Did you just ask about the weather, or did you insult my mother? WHAT?”
I routinely want to take peoples’ cell phones away from them and shove the things up their noses.
February 7th, 2006 at 1:39 pm
I couldn’t agree more! I HATE it when people CHOOSE to get on their cell phones while driving, or in the middle of a movie!! Who the HELL are these people anyway?!? Grrrrr!
February 7th, 2006 at 1:57 pm
All these fucking cell phone companies with all these dumb fucking phones that do everything from take pictures, play music and keep your schedule, but NONE of them will consistently make a fucking phone call with out someone saying “can you hear me now”? That should have never became a catch phrase! STOP MAKING BULLSHIT PHONES AND TRY MAKING A PHONE THAT FUCKING WORKS….WITH OTHER PHONES!!!
*gets off soap box and walks away*
February 7th, 2006 at 2:06 pm
I have a cell phone but I mostly use it for the kids (so I can leave the house during the school day) and for long distance (almost always in the comfort of my own home). And here I thought you were going to talk about chubby earlobes or something…
February 7th, 2006 at 5:39 pm
Ok, so I’m freakin’ GUILTY of this… but pardon me for having a life! (Well, sort of.) I use the phone a lot while driving, always with the hands free device. Geez… I get frickin’ 900 minutes on my plan, I’d best get my money’s worth!
Now people who use ‘em in movie theaters, concert venues, or are STUPID enough to try and have a conversation in a club whilst others are shouting, carrying on, or otherwise merry-making, should be shot and killed on sight.
February 7th, 2006 at 5:41 pm
#6 In the freaking Mens Room for Christ sake…
February 7th, 2006 at 8:32 pm
I just broke up with a man I’ve been seeing (however reluctantly) for over a year. He was blind, and I don’t mean just figuratively. Turns out, his true handicap is his cavernous and endlessly yapping cakehole, coupled with the fact that he’s a lying, loud-mouthed fucktard. And what has this to do with cell-phonery and it’s many burdens? This: consider text messages…from the blind.
“Wjtbltz frrbl# plun friggit!!! F 7, u borch! In gin lo;; mysekf!”
That stupid dixlwt.
February 8th, 2006 at 11:01 pm
Myra, THANK YOU. I knew I couldn’t be the only person using the word fucktard. I don’t fel quite so alone tonight LoL.
And somebody here may be responsible for my addiction to the word, but I find a million uses for it a day. And, as it happens, many relate to people and their damn cell phones/sidekicks/Mobile E_mail devices.
February 9th, 2006 at 12:09 pm
ha ha! I agree. and I won’t!
February 9th, 2006 at 5:21 pm
I just want to be clear here: if I don’t respond to comments, it’s simply because I feel (a) I can’t top you, because (b) you have said it all!
February 9th, 2006 at 9:20 pm
#7 - At the airport…especially at 6:00AM. Who the FUCKING FUCKKITY FUCK are you talking to?
February 12th, 2006 at 6:32 pm
I agree with your post. When I am encountered with this, I usually say weird things very loudly that make the person end the phone call. My favorites…
If it’s a female, I yell if she has any toilet paper in her stall.
If it’s a male, I usually say “Sir, this is a petting zoo, not a heavy petting zoo. Please leave the sheep pen or I’m calling the police!”