Today’s slacker post brought to you by DanjerusKurves! Well, who the hell did you think was the sponsor? The NRA? They only sponsor my gun-toting photo shoots.

This past weekend there was some kind of “all star” sporting event taking place in Houston. I’m sure you sports fanatics know what it was, but I neither know nor care. Apparently, “all star” sporting events are a big deal, in that multiple “celebrity” parties surround the event. Personally, I wouldn’t recognise any of the alleged celebrities if I ran over one in the car park at the pharmacy . . . which I think I did. Possibly more than one. What I DO know is that the streets surrounding the Houston Galleria were jam-packed solid at all hours of the day and night for the entire weekend. It was impossible to get through an intersection in less than 15 minutes. I kid you not. Fortunately, our out-of-state visitors helped things along by cleverly performing U-turns from the right-hand lane, running red lights, blocking intersections, ignoring DON’T WALK signs, cutting off other drivers, etc. Yes, I am glancing disparagingly at YOU, Georgia and Louisiana!!

For all my complaints and making fun of Texans, I have to admit that the Texan drivers were on their absolute BEST behaviour while witnessing the above described lunatic traffic maneuvres. Not once did I see a good ol’ Texan boy lumber out of his big ol’ truck to drag an out-of-stater out the window of his jacked-up vehicle. There were no incidents of Texan SUVs ramming a pissant out-of-state car out of an intersection. Most disappointingly of all, I didn’t see anything close to a good old-fashioned lynching.

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I was awoken this morning by my kat, Chyna, landing daintily on my bruised forearm. Nonetheless, I reached out and patted his widdle head … and received a static shock or three for my trouble. The neat thing was that I could SEE the tiny bolt of electricity!! Needless to say, we were both a little shocked . . . (Does anybody actually NOTICE my witty titles?? I’m quite proud of them, you know.)

And so, since I am up to my proverbial eyebrows in packing for the next week, I leave you with this outrageous example of brain-washing, eyeball-searing, awwww-inducing, over-the-top cuteness:

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This entry was posted on Monday, February 20th, 2006 at 12:08 pm and is filed under Humour. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.