Junket
Moving homes has been given an unbelievably bad rap … mostly by Yours Truly. Fine, I admit it, I might have slightly slagged-off moving in some of the worst possible ways. But, today, I want to talk about the actual UPSIDE of moving!! Yes, believe it or not, there *is* an upside: Junk Food Bonanza.
Due to the constant physical activity of lifting and/or carrying boxes the size of a small SUV, the bending-stretching-reaching-lifting-stubbing toes-smashing elbows-hitting head, you can actually burn an amazing number of calories just from all of the swearing and throwing things at the wall. During my most recent move, I got far more than my fair share of the four moving food groups: grease, sugar, caffeine, and alcohol [what the hell would a “fair share” be anyway?]. When I wasn’t expanding my belly from heapings of McGriddles with hash browns and coffee heavily laced with cream and sugar [and sometimes a cheapo version of Bailey’s], I was binging on . . . well, everything. Tacos, fajitas, burgers, sandwiches the size of small dogs, woodstack-sized piles of fries, pounds of cheese, gallons of boxed wine. Yes, I said it: boxed wine!!! Bite me, I am presently in a state of financial flux.
Moving is the best excuse EVER to become a complete and utter glutton. There’s only one slight drawback to all of this overeating: you must STOP the absolute second after you unpack the final box. Because if you don’t then every single calorie you thought you had burned for the past week will come back to haunt you. It’s not very nice when your bathroom scale groans before you even step on it.
March 7th, 2006 at 1:30 pm
You have to move house before you eat like that? So that’s what I’m doing wrong…
March 7th, 2006 at 1:43 pm
I’ve got a move coming up in less than two months! Now I have something to look forward to! Sweet.
Also, I’m going to answer your question, simply because I need to kill some time or kill some coworkers.
March 7th, 2006 at 3:33 pm
WCG stole my comment! Maybe if I employed your junk-food eating guidelines, I wouldn’t have to be killing myself on the treadmill to get this blasted weight off. Oy.
March 7th, 2006 at 3:44 pm
………answer what question ??? Hey , I wanna kill my boss today, so let me know when the games begin !!!!
Hey……… being an utter glutton is my life’s work…………..I deserve it…it makes me happy, and you can’t make me stop…………
March 7th, 2006 at 6:50 pm
I know what you mean. Most people hate it when their friends ask for help moving. Me? I’m like, “Right on! Free beer, free pizza, i’m there!”
Also there’s no shame in boxed wine. How else would you know good wine when you taste it? It’s like jogging before a marathon. You have to practice.
March 8th, 2006 at 1:29 am
You know what ELSE burns a lot of calories? Taking a self-defense course (work-related) and being thrown to th floor face-first with your arm in an arm-bar. My body is so sore I don’t have the focus, endurance or pain-resistance to jerk off.
At least not for as long as it takes me.
March 8th, 2006 at 10:10 am
Agree, boxed wine is totally legit. It seems to be the only way finishing a gallon of wine is acceptable. and you gotta love the tap.
March 8th, 2006 at 12:25 pm
Cathie: Temma was responding to a question I left on HER blog [http://www.opendiary.com/entrylist.asp?authorcode=A263505] (not sure if that link will work, but she’s well worth reading!
Boxed wine comments: Actually, Almaden makes a fairly decent boxed wine in both red and white. Also, from the same vineyard as Kendall Jackson comes a relatively new item called “Block Wine” … it is quite delicious! Franzia and all other boxed “wines” should be avoided unless and until you are living under the overpass and carting all your belongings around in a supermarket cart. Which, if I don’t find a job soon, will be me.
Cole: Dahling, I would have thought you would burn all kinds of calories from all those hours of jerking off!!
Sniff: I couldn’t have said it any better. Plus, any house pests will be unable to ascertain quite how much of the “bottle” you have put away.
March 9th, 2006 at 2:55 pm
Regarding your comment: Yes, but honey, you’re GOOD at it. *laughs*
*points* FAKE!