Danjerus Cooking No. 309
Based on my intermittent yet brilliant dieting tips, I recently thought about adding a Recipe Page to this site. But, then I realised that I can’t cook. Well, I can cook, but I don’t enjoy it … and you can’t make me! I am what I would term a “competent cook” in that I can cook a pleasant meal, but to me, cooking is simply a means to an end. Take for example, this:
Excellent idea: Take shredded chicken breast, garlic, bleu cheese crumbles, vegetables, basil, oregano, gravy … and make a nice, simple stew.
Bad idea: add dried bay leaves. Dry spices in and of themselves are often an excellent and convenient addition to many recipes. However, it is always a good idea to check whether the spice bottle has a filter before upending it over your already-otherwise-prepared stew. Unless you don’t mind spitting out large pieces of dried bay leaf with every mouthful … which doesn’t go over really well with either yourself or the kats.
April 5th, 2006 at 3:10 pm
Yeah generally always a good idea to double check the lids on those kind of things
April 5th, 2006 at 3:40 pm
You hoar. You’re supposed to REMOVE bay leaves. But, for future reference, you should make a bouquet garni - you bundle up the dried herbs you use, and tie them together, OR wrap them up in cheesecloth and close it with a piece of string. Then, when your stew’s done, you just take it out and your cats won’t give you the stink eye for the bay leaves.
April 5th, 2006 at 4:36 pm
When Gramma Nuke used to make her patented spicey s’getti sauce she used bay leaves, but took em out before serving.
As for not doing a visual check of your equipment before use, just be thankful it was your spices not your gun. Can you imagine how long it wouloed take your fuzzy pals to forgive THAT?
Nuke
PS- I was on board right up till bleue cheese…
April 5th, 2006 at 4:46 pm
Ooooo, I LOVE to cook! Sad thing is no one in my household will eat what I fix. It’s not that I’m a bad cook, it’s just my husband is a boring meat-and-potatoes kind of guy and my kids a picky little shits.
I’m having some Kickin’ Fuckin’ Chicken tonight; nothing hits the spot like a bucket of Original Recipe. AND…no dishes!
April 5th, 2006 at 6:39 pm
Don’t listen to Nuke, if it had been your gun, you’re cats would be fine. They’d dine on your corpse until the neighbors smelled what was “cooking.” I like to follow these three rules in the kitchen.
1. If you can’t eat, you don’t need it.
2. If she keeps coming to nag at you, you’ve made her chain too long.
3. Paper plates, paper plates, paper plates.
(Exception to the rule: bourbon is hard to drink from a paper plate, get a high ball.)
April 5th, 2006 at 6:40 pm
*coming out*
April 6th, 2006 at 9:50 am
you had me at breast
April 8th, 2006 at 6:17 am
I’m a horrible cook.
April 9th, 2006 at 5:48 am
I laugh derisively at your pathetic stew making abilities. Stick to your forte - titty shots.
April 10th, 2006 at 11:32 am
I like to cook, though I won’t kid anyone that I’m proficient with it comes to the culinary arts. I make a mean boxed, Japanese curry, though. *flexes*
April 11th, 2006 at 8:17 pm
Maybe you can do recipes for people who don’t know how to cook very well. Simple, healthy stuff that doesn’t take much experience or preparation time.
– Ploppy.