FAQs About Me
Q: Are they real?
A: No, they are a figment of your imagination.
Q: Is that really you in the photos?
A: No, that’s my evil twin.
Q: Do you write this stuff at work?
A: Yes, I really *do* get paid to write this kind of crap. My boss just doesn’t *know* he’s paying me to do this. Then again, he doesn’t know half of what I do around here anyway. I assure him that it’s the Overnight Gnomes who really keep the business running.
Q: Are any of your stories true?
A: Yes, definitely. Especially the ones about macarena-dancing roaches, valet keys disappearing into an alternate universe, and all of the ones about my sex life.
Q: Is it true that all hot chicks are bitches?
A: How the hell should *I* know? now piss off, you’re boring me.
Current Mood: 
bored