Lessons Learned
[Conversation regarding the approximate size of a cucumber]
The Beau: Yeah, it’s about the length of my dick.
DK: Where are you measuring it from, your arsehole?
The Beau: No, in order to do that, I’d have to measure it from your mouth . . .
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[DK generously attempts to open a bottle of beer for The Beau]
The Beau: NO!!! You don’t do it like THAT!! You’re holding the bottle at the top and it’s going to tip over and break and then you’ll cut your hand open! Any good brunette would know to hold it at the base and work the top.
DK: I think I already know how to hold the base and work the top…
The Beau: Well, yeah, but that’s only since you darkened your hair.
DK: Are you saying it’s artificial intelligence?
The Beau: A brunette could figure that one out.
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[On DK bemoaning The Beau’s “two-day” business trip turning into a 3-week trip]
DK: Geez, I hope they don’t extend the trip yet again!
The Beau: Sweetheart, it’s really not that difficult to refill the ice cube trays.
June 20th, 2006 at 7:27 am
In honour of The Beau, as today is his birthday . . . and I’m letting him live to see the next one. Maybe.
June 20th, 2006 at 8:49 am
Hey, my birthday’s tomorrow! Small world. I knew The Beau was cool.
And as far as filling ice cube trays, it’s trickier than a lot of people realize. I’ve ruined leather shoes trying to fill ice cube trays.
June 20th, 2006 at 8:50 am
I dunno. You gotta split the atom there to get that perfect amount of water in the tray so’s not to have them all freeze together and still make them big enough to be worth the effort.
And let’s not even TALK about the walk back to the freezer!
June 20th, 2006 at 9:13 am
With comments like those, I’m afraid I’d have been opening that beer with his eye socket. Then again, maybe I just need some Midol.
June 20th, 2006 at 9:19 am
Temma dahling, three of my nearest and dearest have consecutive birthdays this week!!
Cole: As always, you crack me up!
Myra: Great timing … hehehe … as it happens, The Beau got belted in the eye at work last week and has a wicked shiner.
June 20th, 2006 at 12:16 pm
I ALWAYS hold the base while I work the top. Tell the beau happy birthday for me!
June 20th, 2006 at 1:56 pm
Heh, the real way brunettes open their beer is to press the cap into the underpart of their forearm and twist.
At least that’s how I used to do it.
Then again, you could just get some random cute guy to open it for me. Ice trays? Dude, join the 21st century and get an automatic ice dispenser. Duh!
June 20th, 2006 at 2:20 pm
Have I happened to mention that HE is also blond???
June 21st, 2006 at 9:06 am
Regarding your “grilled cheese” note: *alternates between laughing and being sick*
June 21st, 2006 at 9:08 am
Temma: Even *I* had a hard time believing I actually left that note! Sort-of.
June 21st, 2006 at 9:08 am
Re. “Hoppy Bird day”: *dies from the cute*
Kitty! Alcohol! I’ve got the warm fuzzies.