dancing boy
Is it still wrong to laugh at the socially inept?
There’s this new guy at myNightclub. He’s not bad-looking, neither handsome nor ugly . . . which is where the word “average” comes in, I would imagine. However, he has a really good physique and obviously works out and takes care of himself. As a general rule, I don’t think it matters what you look like on the dance floor as long as (1) you are not annoying the other dancers, and (2) you are enjoying yourself. Unfortunately, his dance style is some sort of hybrid mix somewhere outside of the-hokey-pokey-crossed-with-the-funky-chicken-having-an-epileptic-fit-and-performed-by-the-Special-Olympics-Dance-Committee. Only not quite that smooth. I realise that this is a “you just have to see it” situation and I openly acknowledge that my description does not do the matter justice.
The Problem is that this guy has taken to dancing right next to me. Clearly, he thinks we are dancing together. One night he went so far as to greet me with “Thanks for joining me!” when I stepped into my usual dance space. In return, I have taken to wearing a fake wedding band. I wonder if dancing boy will notice that my “husband” is a different guy every week …
June 30th, 2006 at 7:54 am
I hope I’m not “dancing boy”, although I have been known to look a little re-tard-ed at the club!
Now I’ve definitely gotta go and see who this fella is!
June 30th, 2006 at 8:41 am
I have rhythm. I have a great ability to dance, and well…but I don’t do it. EVER. Know why? Because when I see others dancing, I pick them apart mercilessly. My ego being the size it is, I don’t think I could handle the reciprocal karmic picking-apart which I would receive were I to put myself out there for all to see. Once at a wedding, my sister and I pretended to whack one particularly vigorous flailer on the bean with a large, imaginary mallet. Really, though. She was far too exhuberant and needed to be stopped. I’m the Scrooge of the dancefloor.
June 30th, 2006 at 8:52 am
It’s NEVER wrong to laugh at the socially inept. Unless I’m the one being retarded, in which case it’s just cruel.
June 30th, 2006 at 9:08 am
As President of the Special Olympic Dance Committee, I would like to thank you for this special recognition for both our program and specifically Tard. Tard has been working hard on perfecting his smooth moves and is flattered that you come and dance next to him at every opportunity.
Keep up the good work on the Blog and be sure and let everyone know about Tard’s web site http://www.funkytard.com
Cheers!
June 30th, 2006 at 9:41 am
Dammit, Andria stole yet another of my clever and witty answers. Damn you woman! I couldn’t dance my way out of a wet paper sack with both ends open and a tear in the side yet I’ve found out if I bouce my boobies and shake my ass just right no one seems to care. Thank god I married a man who does NOT dance as I’ve now got way more to shake and bounce that is legally allowed on the dancefloor.
Don’t you have a way to video this DancingTard for us? Smile! You’re on Hidden Tard Camera!!!
June 30th, 2006 at 10:20 am
Jonathan: Oh hell NO, you are not Dancing Boy!! You are *very* attractive, you are a good dancer, and you are also a friend. None of which describe him. Watch for him though, he is about 5′10″, dark hair, clean-shaven (I think); he usually wears shorts, a tanktop, sometimes a blue/white bandanna [snicker], and black bumper boots (not sure what they are called in America, but go to http://www.pinkliquorice.co.uk for a photo; they are made of canvas and have rubber circles on the outside of the shoe, over the ankle bone). . . . I’m surprised you didn’t notice that you were my “husband-of-the-moment” a couple of times last week on the dance floor.
Myra: I can’t imagine anybody having the audacity to laugh in your direction with that imaginary mallet hovering overhead!!
WCG: TardCam? I like it!
June 30th, 2006 at 10:41 am
[EDIT] I have just been informed that in America “bumper boots” are known as “basketball shoes” such as Converse makes.
June 30th, 2006 at 10:48 am
TardCam… YES!!!!!!!!!!!
June 30th, 2006 at 2:14 pm
ha ha SCARY! Sounds like Elaine on Sienfeld, ever seen her dance? Yikes!! Hey, if he has no clue that his dancing is that bad then he probably won’t figure out that your husband is a new man every week…good luck with that!
June 30th, 2006 at 7:09 pm
When I read this, what came to my mind was the Pee Wee Herman Dance. LOL