Madness
The madness . . . sweet mercy, the madness. Always it starts with the voices. The damned voices. Everywhere the voices. Singing in my ears. Incessantly swirling around my head. Everywhere. Taking over my mind until I want to scream for it to just STOP!! While I shop, while I eat, while I walk. There is no peace, nowhere that I can escape from it. At first I manage to pretend it isn’t happening, but soon, too soon, I cannot ignore the cacophony assaulting my mind. I look around me expecting other people to notice but they just go on about their business as though this horror is not all around. Surely they must know?
Driven by panic I consult a psychiatrist. He tells me there is no cure and no known treatment. I find myself trying to bargain with him, to convince him that in this 21st century of ours surely something can be done??!! But, he just shakes his head slowly and sadly and I can feel his pity for me as clearly as I can hear the voices.
“Be patient”, he tells me, “this too shall pass. Just give it time.”
“How MUCH time?” I demand, impatiently, “I really don’t know if I can stand this!!”
“You have no choice”, he replies, “this is something that you will have to live with for the rest of your life.”
I bury my head in my hands and contemplate an ongoing future of this misery.
“But, surely” I whimper, “surely they could at least wait until December before they start playing the fucking Christmas music????”
November 29th, 2006 at 10:48 am
*Jingle bells, jingle bells*
GHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*here comes santa clause*
*rudolph the red-nosed reigndeer*
AAAAAAAARRRRRRR
November 29th, 2006 at 11:04 am
And come ON…. A Charlie Brown Christmas on NOVEMBER PHUCKING 28th??? It’s collusion between Hallmark and the major retailers, I tell ya!!!
November 29th, 2006 at 11:49 am
OH MY FLIPPIN GAWD !!! Thank you !! I’ve always thought something was SO WRONG with me for being so negative about the stores & TV & all playing freakin Christmas songs so early…………….I absolutely have ABHORED it all !!!!!!!!!!! Now I feel as if I’m not such a raging bitch about it. When I have voiced my displeasure, people have usually looked at me as if I were such a KillJoy !!!
November 29th, 2006 at 12:04 pm
Dude. I hate Christmas music. I don’t mind all the tacky decorations, the forced credit card debt, and the stressful family gatherings, but I hate the music…
November 29th, 2006 at 12:47 pm
Tis the SEASON….. *la la la la la*
November 29th, 2006 at 3:52 pm
OMG you effing sneaky hoar…
I was totally hooked. You got me all worried… I’d never been so happy about the idea of premature christmas carols.
November 29th, 2006 at 4:07 pm
Cat: try telling people that you are not Christian and then see the looks you get.
Cardigan: Great, you’d rather I be schizophrenic than antisocial!
November 29th, 2006 at 6:36 pm
Since I stopped listening to the radio I don’t hear The Voices as much anymore, unless I want to hear them of course. For me, the Christmas season does NOT begin until the day after Thanksgiving but that’s just for the decorations; they stay up until Jan 1st. Thank god for my MP3 player!!!
November 29th, 2006 at 8:39 pm
Holy Fucking Dog Dick…. I completely feel you on this one. They play that bullshit all day at my office. AHHHHH!!!! SOMEONE FUCKING STOP THE MADNESS.
November 30th, 2006 at 12:00 am
Nothing wrong with Christmas music if you have a gun within easy reach to place in your mouth.
Let’s face it, the Industrial Power Machine has us by the balls. For those of you of the fairer gender, that means the ones you don’t even have.
December 3rd, 2006 at 1:55 pm
I worked retail during one particularly nasty Christmas season, and I still can’t hear Bing Crosby without having Vietnam-like flashbacks.